{"id":374,"date":"2012-08-16T15:34:07","date_gmt":"2012-08-16T15:34:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.workplaceinteractors.com\/theinteraction\/?p=374"},"modified":"2012-08-16T15:34:07","modified_gmt":"2012-08-16T15:34:07","slug":"how-to-help-your-employees-learn-to-apologize","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.workplaceinteractors.com\/theinteraction\/2012\/08\/16\/how-to-help-your-employees-learn-to-apologize\/","title":{"rendered":"How to help your employees learn to apologize"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Photo by Alice Feldt<\/p><\/div>\n

I wrote this article for the Mondo Learning Solutions<\/a> newsletter.<\/em><\/p>\n

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Many years ago, a sappy book declared, \u201cLove means never having to say you\u2019re sorry.\u201d A lot of otherwise smart managers took this a step further, deciding that business and apologies don\u2019t mix. They couldn\u2019t be more wrong.<\/p>\n

Customer service has become an essential part of all business these days. We recently did a multi-session awareness-raising project for the IT department of a major university focusing on customer service \u2013 although these highly skilled folks rarely deal with anyone outside of their own organization. Even those who never ring a register or shake hands with a client need to know how to fulfill the expectations of everyone they encounter in the workplace.<\/p>\n

And when \u2013 occasionally but inevitably \u2013 those expectations aren\u2019t met, you\u2019ve got to make it right. Good relationships, quality, reputation, and customer loyalty demand that you do something. And the first thing you should do is apologize.<\/p>\n

Your employees might resist. \u201cWhy should I admit I might have done something wrong? Wouldn\u2019t I open myself up for blame, attack, maybe even liability?\u201d you might hear. Here\u2019s how to explain to them what a real apology is all about.<\/p>\n

What an apology isn\u2019t.<\/strong>
\nA real apology has nothing to do with accepting blame. It doesn\u2019t assure the customer you\u2019ll pay for repairs. It doesn\u2019t even mean you\u2019ll take responsibility for fixing the problem. (If you do take responsibility, that\u2019s another statement that comes later, after you apologize.)<\/p>\n

What an apology is.<\/strong>
\nA real apology is nothing more than a sincere acknowledgement that your customer isn\u2019t satisfied. It\u2019s a statement that you recognize your customer\u2019s feelings, and that you wish he or she felt better about the situation. That\u2019s all.<\/p>\n

Examples: \u201cI\u2019m sorry you were inconvenienced.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m sorry you feel you aren\u2019t getting enough information.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m sorry you\u2019re having a hard time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another word for recognizing the other person\u2019s emotions is empathy. You don\u2019t have to join in the emotion or even agree that it\u2019s justified. But you should let your customers know that you\u2019re aware of their frustration, anger or disappointment \u2013 and that their trouble means something to you.<\/p>\n

Customers love it.<\/strong>
\nAn apology shows your customers and colleagues that you care about how your work is received \u2013 that you want them to have a good experience working with you. Above all, that you\u2019re on their side. So rather thanaccepting<\/em>\u00a0blame, a sincere apology helps\u00a0defuse\u00a0<\/em>blame. The customer stops seeing you as the problem, and starts seeing you as an ally in finding a solution.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s how you say it.<\/strong>
\nMake sure it\u2019s sincere. Remember that apologizing actually puts you in a position of strength: it takes a big person to respond to criticism by being open rather than defensive. So take a moment to look at things from your customer\u2019s point of view, and then speak with empathy.<\/p>\n

Watch out for the \u201cnon-apology.\u201d (We hear politicians make these all the time.) Those run something like this: \u201cIf anyone was offended by what happened, that wasn\u2019t the intention, and the entire situation has been blown out of proportion.\u201d This attempted apology fails on all counts: no acknowledgement of feelings, no openness, and no personal connection.<\/p>\n

An apology is more powerful if you put yourself into it. Use an \u201cI\u201d statement, such as, \u201cI\u2019m sorry you\u2019ve had such a frustrating time with this,\u201d rather than, \u201cThese things can be frustrating.\u201d Remember, people want to feel that you\u2019ll work with them to help resolve the situation. Impersonal statements won\u2019t create that trust.<\/p>\n

First apologize, then investigate.<\/strong>
\nAs soon as you hear a complaint, apologize. Don\u2019t wait until after you explore what happened, who did what, and what the solution might be. You\u2019ll get the information much more easily if your customer knows that his or her feelings are acknowledged and respected.<\/p>\n

Just do it.<\/strong>
\nSo give it a try! You\u2019ll find that you end up with better communication, more effective problem solving, and, best of all, more satisfied customers.<\/p>\n

The best way leaders can teach employees to apologize is by example. Recognize that an apology is a sign of strength, and give them yourself when circumstances demand it. You\u2019ll create trust and good will \u2013 and you\u2019ll also jump-start a culture of responsibility, kindness, and excellence. Big return for a few small words.<\/p>\n

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